Three decades after

When I think of the older generation, I think of all the bad things we need to fix because of them. The greatest of them all is the mindset that they are locked in even when we’re already living in 2023.

But I realized that maybe, I’m way too harsh. Maybe, in the next three decades, I’ll call out the youngsters because I can’t relate and understand what they’ve been on. And I’m afraid, I’ll be someone I loathed when I was young too.

I wish, and I’ll strive, to be someone who continues to have an open mind to understand and to honor the differences of my own and the future generations. I hope, really, that I stay to support whatever one likes doing as long as it’s not hurting anyone.

Lastly, I hope I’ll be the person I needed when I felt so lost, confused, and challenged by life.

These days, I like to limit my social interaction. I became quieter, I spoke less of my thoughts, I didn’t feel the need to be that person who talks to everyone so no one gets left out in the table. And I’m at peace, honestly. I wanted to utter fewer words so less can be used against me.

I wanted to give my silence, so my voice can be louder the next time I open my lips. And in the moments I chose not to speak, my thoughts rang louder than ever. Now, I truly understood what they meant by tasting your words before spitting them out.

The way I see it, I expect myself to be more silent. It took away the pressure. There are times when I want to completely disagree and call out someone, but most of time, I stop and think about how worthy it is to release my thoughts.

As I get older – my birthday is coming near so I know why my mind is like automatically reflecting – I don’t want to give free access to everyone on what I truly think. Before, I believed that voicing out is always the better choice. Now, I believe that there are times when silence makes more noise.

As I’m about to take a different path in my career, I’ll announce it to no one. Only my line manager will know – as I have no choice. I will live a different version of me. I will be living a new life I don’t know of in the past 26 years. A life I’ll be proud of… three decades after.

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