Rainy May

I lived long enough to notice that the earth is changing. I dreaded months of April and May because of the summer heat but I found myself comfortable with May because of the past few days. These past few rainy days except for one when I was afraid that our electricity would be cut off.

As we’re about to close the first half of 2023, I reflected and assessed if I’m happy with how I’m living my life. I realized that I am taking things at work more healthily by not forcing myself to give everything for my job. I used to be that person who will meet that deadline with desirable output just because it feels great at the end. It feels great to be credible. But after those moments of bliss, I always ended up hating my job. Not because it’s worthless but because I burnt out my well-being. Now, I choose what can be done without sacrificing my body. I may not achieve everything at once like before, but at least I’m not hating my work again. Yet.

Aside from that, there’s really nothing special going on. Maybe it’s the time when I will be losing more people to meet new ones. I don’t know. I feel alone most of the time. More usual than before. Not that I hate it. Being alone brings external peace. But inner peace is what I’m craving for.

I’m still unsure of my next steps but I just know I need to change something in my daily life. I’ll make it habit until it becomes my lifestyle. I’ll try to be more quiet. The more I speak, the less I hear my inner voice. My inner thoughts. As always, I’m uncertain if this will work – but as always too, I’ll give it a chance.

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