Living like my age, finally

I’ve always sought after the moments I can share with more experienced people in this marathon called life. Looking back six years ago, I never found myself seriously hanging out with my peers. Reason is simple, all of us back then had literally no idea how to become an adult. So why spend time with them?

I know, I know. That’s quite harsh to blurt out. But I didn’t have regrets because of the knowledge I have right now. I feel like I did an advanced study of how I’ll deal with my older years before I even go there. If I didn’t decide to change and live like my age, I would probably use my time talking to insightful people in their 50s. I though still enjoy watching TikTok videos of amazing middle-aged men & women sharing life lessons to us young guns.

Why did I decide to change? I was stressed so much about my future. I was incredibly invested with how much should I save for my retirement. I am nowhere near thirty but my mind lives like I’m 45. It’s not entirely wrong – we only live once, but not an excuse to destroy our future – however, I found myself not having fun as what 20-year-olds should do.

I allowed myself to be happy like a kid. I learned to finally live like 20. I graduated in June 2016 and started working the following month and I never stopped since then except for my one month break when I change companies. I knew I needed to work to buy this home that my family currently lives in. I matured way too early. But now, I felt like it’s the right time to give myself the time that responsibilities & pandemic took away from me.

I’m laughing more carelessly now- peeps, I get quite sad when you tell me to tone down my laughter – I’m buying the gadgets that make me happy. I’m buying clothes that I feel so comfortable and confident to wear. I’m walking across people with my head not bowed down and my posture speaks self-assurance. I traveled to two countries already and plans to visit two more in the last quarter of the year. And I’m about to book my first solo travel next year and see how it will change me.

Not knowing my purpose, not figuring everything out, not certain about my long-term desires, heck not even sure what to do in April – all of these are normal for a 20-something. My 23-year-old self would’ve been rattled & disappointed in me but my carefree, dauntless, and present-living 26-year-old self is currently at peace.

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