DE S02E05

I just posted on my instagram stories that I decided to do a midnight “me time” stroll. I then went to 7/11 to buy a small cup of hot chocolate to accompany me while I sit comfortably in front of a closed store. I am currently feeling the wind breeze from the sea. We all can say that this wind feels the best – especially if you’re used to live in Manila.

Since we came after the holy week, I expected that there will be few people here. And that was true. And I like it. Really. Those who know me will agree. I don’t like crowded places. I want to share my current view so I quickly took a picture. Here it is!

I’m quite far from the beach but I can’t do an indian sit comfortably ever since I was a kid.

If there’s something I hate with this travel is how wasteful I am. I have limited resources so I cannot be conscious about the products I use. I just get by with anything convenient. A one-week trip maybe isn’t for me. Not unless I pack more and prepare carefully.

But you know what I loved? This travel represents how far my life went. For the better. Unknowingly, I am now able to afford to do this. I wasn’t born rich. Way back in college, I was so fascinated about how some of my blockmates afford studying in coffee shops. One drink costs at least Php 130 and you need to stay there longer, so I guess, you need to drink one more? That’s already Php 260! And my weekly allowance is only at Php 700 and I go to school six times a week.

(I took a sip from my hot chocolate. It tastes good for its price!)

I honestly can’t believe I’m willing to spend Php 400 pesos for a meal. The prices here are not so friendly. But I just can’t help to be thankful how I can now afford the things I can’t before. Not that I am complaining with the life I grew up with. It actually feels better to experience the so-called finer things in life after working so hard for years. They weren’t given, I earned them. A lot can relate to this. If this also happens to you currently, I want to say that I’m proud of you!

I had an honest and deep conversation with my friend last Sunday night. I told how I thought that I have no dream to achieve anymore. I have a home of my own. I can pay bills monthly. I have a stable job. When life gets tough, I go to the basics. Social media and city life do a good job in making you feel incomplete. When I looked into my life with simplicity in mind, I realized that I am completely blessed with my current status. Don’t get me wrong, I want to wear more hats as I feel that I still have a lot of years to live. It’s just that, right now, I have what I need in my life. I’m at a point where I can freely welcome what my next years will bring to the table. I’ll embrace it. Whatever it is.

I’m beyond thankful that I can finally say that it’s now my time to explore whatever I want to. I have two in mind, actually. But for some reason, I want to keep it. Privately. But I will let others know about it, but not now. I think I just regained my “fvck, whatever this is, I’ll go for it” attitude in 2018.

As I end this post, I can only say good things to God. I may not have everything that I want, but He provided what I need. I love the moments where I have this deep silent conversation with Him. Knowing that whatever situation I will be in, He’ll be with me – makes me feel secured and thankful for the years he destined me to exist.

I will be turning 26 in two months. Maybe all the emotions I have right now are the sign that I’m moving on from a long chapter of living for others. Maybe after 25 years, I can now live for myself. Unapologetically.

Cheers to life, cheers to a free life!

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