DE S02E03

I waited for exactly 14 minutes before I started this post. Nothing special, I just wanted to write this on the last day of February. I just stopped for a bit when I realized that we are now done with two months of 2022. Personally, I’m looking forward for the activities that I plan to do for the rest of the year. But to be very honest, I am quite scared about the future. Not about my career or anything, but all about what can happen in the world. I only knew of world war 1 and 2 on my history books, but I didn’t expect that it might actually happen in my generation. Ukraine and Russia are far from the Philippines but who knows what’ll be the next chapter of their war? Just thinking about it right after seeing some light with this pandemic makes me not want to live for the future even more. I will live my life every single day.

Speaking of my plans this year, my team (past and current members) just had an overnight outing last Friday. It was fun. I saw how we all missed communicating face-to-face and my throat got really tired of talking about so many topics. I felt like meeting a group of people you know should be a two days, one night event – seriously, I still have a lot to talk about with them. Virtual meetings won’t cut it. Though I love working from home, my extrovert side still wants to talk to people physically. Meeting the people I treasure in life is a must for me now that the pandemic seems to push for our new normal already.

When I got home on the afternoon of Saturday, I immediately felt so sad. I knew this feeling. It’s very familiar with what I felt when the fact that I might be having my last few moments with the people close to me know may soon be my reality. I can clearly remember how I got silently emotional in my last regular day in high school. I thought I’ll never get over it but you know, time heals and we all eventually need to grow up. And thinking about it now, I was young back then. I was supposed to leave and meet new friends. True enough, I met new people and left so many friends simply because we grew apart and walked on different paths. It has been the same process in university. It was easer for me though because I was more focused on getting a job and earning my own money. I already consider myself lucky for retaining a handful of friends from college up until now.

But at work, I honestly didn’t expect to feel this. It wasn’t in my plan. All along, my mind was conditioned that the corporate world is a jungle – you need to kill and avoid being killed.

I have questions in mind:

Am I really that lucky to have good relationships with people at my work?

Do I need to be a workaholic freak in my new team to avoid getting attached?

Am I just the type of person who gets along so well with some people that building friendships comes naturally?

I still don’t have answers but one thing is for sure, I will need to go through the process I hated in high school and in university. The process of being happy when you found comfort in people and letting them go because you all can’t stay in one place and we’re all working towards our growth.

I’m just emotional right now but I’m sure I’ll get over this. And without force, I will be maintaining long term friendships with people I will naturally gravitate with.

Tomorrow, March 1, I will be starting a new journey. I will finally be a regular in the gym to have an active lifestyle. I want a body that I will be happy seeing in the mirror. I hate my fats. But I love to eat. So, the only way to still enjoy eating is to exercise and be wiser on what I will be taking in to my body. I’m now getting back to exploring new things – hoping to meet fresh faces along the way (and still willing to go through the process I hate).

Ending this post by saying that living in the present and in the moment is the best way to have a life you won’t regret. Turn down your phone when you are with people. Look at them in the eye, listen to their words, and make each moment count. At 25, I am not expecting to have frequent trips with friends. When I have one, I make sure to cherish them. I’m on my phone and my laptop almost everyday and it won’t hurt if I neglect them when I’m with the people I like. Last Friday, my phone was always away from me. And you know what I felt? I already mentioned this but I felt the lack of time in talking to them.

As I wrap this up, I feel lighter as I did live on that present. That’s the silver lining – I saw the good moments with my eyes and not through my phone’s screen.

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