DE S02E02

I woke up at 1:44 PM yesterday. I already find it hard to sleep before 3 AM. So, if I woke up so late, how can I expect my eyes to close earlier? That’s why I’m here. To write, to update whoever reads this, and to help myself fall asleep as much as I can.

Two months ago, I messaged a friend and told him that I may not be able to get used to my life in a new place. I might find ways to go back to the metro. It’s funny how it all changed so suddenly. Our house is located at the dead end of our subdivision’s street. There are just literally two houses before us at the dead end. And with this location, you don’t expect to hear cars blowing their horns. It’s totally different from living in a busy city. I got used to waking up very peacefully and this is my … vibe?

Last year, I made steps to find a work that pays more. I even came to a point where salary is my top priority in finding a new corporate prison. I was so close in giving up a company that has a good culture and does not stress me out everyday. But while I’m living here in our new home, and not wanting to see cars and hear the sounds they make, I have a new non-negotiable — no permanent office setup. Okay, I can give in with a hybrid working arrangement. But I can’t imagine myself commuting five days a week. Just, no. I can’t.

I might not be able to find the perfect words to express how much I love a slow life. I like simple and peaceful days. It’s now my goal to give myself a life that’s not elevated my material things, decorated by expensive stuff, and defined by anything monetary. I never imagined myself to change as early as 25. Way back when I was a student, success just means being a manager as early as I can. I defined success before with a title. But I’m not that person anymore.

With that, I want to share something that may let you think deeper if you’re lost. I’m supposed to be stressed out having a quarter-life crisis but here I am, slowly, consciously, and intentionally discovering who I am by taking small steps.

How do you define happiness? What is your definition of success? Did you define it? Did you really do? Or you had it because someone told you so? No, I’m not saying that they are wrong and after hearing my words, you’ll be convinced that I’m right. I have no intention of doing that. I’m just here to ask you questions I asked myself. Because I found good answers. By knowing who defined my happiness, I found my way out. My way out is stepping down from thinking that my satisfaction is getting all those prestigious awards, titles, and earning the most among my peers. I’ve come to a realization that I am happy if I can live simply, peacefully, and slowly. I don’t need the latest gadgets, designer goods (I prefer eco-friendly stuff), and instagram-worthy life.

My life is getting better. Not yet to the level I dream of, but I am definitely in a kinder place than last year. When they always said that happiness starts with you and it’s within you, I finally understood what they meant. Though it helps moving in a different place (like in my case), you must also make a choice every single day.

We’re just in the second month of the year but I have so many things to look forward to already. I will be fighting for a slot this week to get a lot for EXO’s 10th anniversary on April 9. I already bought the merch bundle. That makes me smile so much 🙂 While I’m writing this, I am listening to Paul Kim. My friends already know how much I love that South Korean singer. And lately, J_ust has captured my heart. I am also still a fan of K-Dramas and I’m watching When the Camellia Blooms now. Watch it! There’s a reason why they won Daesang in Baeksang Awards.

My heart is also flying with the clouds as Son Ye-jin is getting married. She’s one of the two actresses I admire so much. Another one is Gong Hyo-jin. She’s one of the reasons why I pushed getting a tattoo. That girl also influenced me to take steps being an environmental activist. I am now using shampoo bars ❤

See? There’s nothing grand with my days. But I’m truly fine with them. I changed. And I changed for the better by not being defined and structured by other people or by some culture/system. I am just living my life according to me.

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