2021 is f*cking grueling year. I can’t remember any year that pushed me so hard that I sometimes thought I already fell off the cliff and just trying to live because I am still breathing. This time, I don’t know how to explain what I feel, I just know I barely survived. I’m actually surprised that I’m still alive.
With all the hurdles I met, I helplessly went for the hands of my special someone, close friends, and exo for survival. If you read my posts last year, it was bts who saved me. Now, it’s my first love. It’s EXO. Call me crazy. But these boys who don’t even know my existence helped me in many ways that I couldn’t fathom how I will thank them someday.
With D.O. – It’s good and bad that he isn’t active on social media. Bad because I can’t get enough updates from him, but also good because when I get an update, you know the feeling of getting a surprise package? That’s it. Plus, he has been busy with films – I guess I won’t miss him once his works are all out.
With Xiumin – He’s my latest bias. I just can’t with his skin and his “baby-like” features. I want him as a friend, as a brother, and okay, as a husband maybe in my next life.
With Sehun – He is just so cute. He never fails to make me smile.
And with Lay – I want his job. Juggling work in China and South Korea, he really is that busy. And if I were to manifest something, it is having a job that needs business travel so I won’t be based on one country for every year.
I can go on with each member but I’m gonna stop here. From having heavy baggages carried by my heart before starting this post, I am now smiling just by choosing a picture I will use for each of these incredible boys.
Magic is what it is. I don’t know how but I know that without them, I could’ve been more bruised at the end of this year. I will still have them as my part of my support group next year. And here’s to hoping that 2022 will be better for all.
To you who might be going through difficult times, hold on to any glimpse of light your eyes can see. No matter how small it is. Regardless how crazy you think you might be. Not all can find hope in the midst of emotional storm. So if you do, don’t let it go.
We are now down with the last two days of 2021. I can’t wait for my calendar to recognize 2022 as the present. I can’t seem to feel at ease. I would be very thankful if nothing bad happens in the next two days. But since I will be going through the days anyway, I’ll think of how can I put posters on my room filled with exo. Funny, I don’t know where to buy or if there’s something available online. 😁
But nevermind, just the thought of filling up my mind with doing something related to exo makes me enthusiastic. And I will hold on to this. I will hold on to my glimmer of hope.