DE S01E05

At last, I felt bad with not being able to do anything new this year. I was forgiving myself since the lockdown as I prioritized my mental & physical health but the effect has been reversed. I’m not mentally okay with not learning nor trying anything crazy as my days/months went on.

Since I’m a survivor of my own anxiety attacks & depression, this time I quickly made an action. First, I made an IG account to put on K-Drama reviews so I can share my thoughts. And second, my impulsive mind at midnight bought a stylus after I downloaded a sketchpad app on my phone. I opened more outlets for my busy and unpredictable brain – a blog, an IG account, & digital sketchpad. I’m hugging myself right now. A small win, I guess?

This past few weeks, I also am not physically healthy as I was usually. I had diarrhea on the last week of August and then recovered on the first day of September. I also experienced sporadic mild fever that goes away after resting. You see, I am not 100% okay physically & mentally – did I fail myself from my goal last year? I think so.

It may sound uncomfortable to hear but I think of the days I wake up as bonuses for my life and I’ve been feeding myself good food lately. For as young as I am, some may think I’m weird to think this way but I stand by my realistic view that a day may be my last. And it clearly doesn’t help that we’re still tirelessly fighting with this pandemic.

As I am writing this, I am enjoying my calamansi juice (I told you, I’m looking after myself well) and easing my mind of some compressed thoughts that I just shared here. Three more days and we will be having new guidelines for the quarantine and I’m fervently wishing that our city will have more loose restrictions as I’m dying to get a whole body massage. My back is killing me. I’m not joking, it’s getting uncomfortable especially today. Do you know any remedies if I can’t get a massage this September? Thank you in advance.

In about 20 minutes, I’ll return to my bed and call it a day – looking forward to open my eyes for another chance at life. Good night!

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