Beautiful Scars

August 30.

I went to my favorite clothing store. I bought six dresses. I was happy when I paid for them. I know I’ll feel pretty when I wear them. That’s the thing with clothes. They will make you feel good, but they can also remind you of memories you don’t want to remember.

That pink dress. Every time I wore it, I get at least five peole complimenting how it makes me glow even more. But that same pink dress reminds me of the day when my boyfriend broke up with me because he found someone else. Someone better. The morning of that day, I took a photo of myself. I even posted it on Instagram and got more than 400 likes. How come 400 people liked me that day but the person I loved the most chose to break my heart?

I also went to my favorite café. I ordered green tea latte. My best friend and I can’t get enough of this. I thought I won’t get enough of it. But I stopped ordering this drink the day I found out that my best friend betrayed me. Of all the people, I wasn’t expecting that person to break my already crushed heart that day. I can never forget that day. I got my heart bruised and broken into pieces twice by the persons I expected to be with me through ups and downs.

I had my very first green tea latte after six years. It tasted different. Before, I liked how it tasted sweet despite having that bitter flavor from green tea. Now, I can say that it’s really bitter.

As the highlight of my day, I bought a ticket to watch a movie entitled “Meet Me in St. Gallen”. I must admit, the plot seems unrealistic. But it made me believe in the type of love the writer wanted me to feel. I can’t say I can totally relate with the characters of the story but the part when they said that there will be people who will come across our path just to put “life” in our life made my eyes cry a river inside the movie theater.

They are meant to come, stay for a while, and make us happy but never to stay. Never to stay.

That’s how Mike and Vin were for me. Mike was my great love. I can’t imagine if I can pour love in a person the same way ever again. I had the best time with him. I can vividly remember how my day brightens up the moment I read his first message in the morning. It felt like a vitamin that’ll be all I need to survive a gruesome day. Vin was my best friend. We’ve been friends since high school. Words can never explain how important Vin was in my life. I think I’ll never survive all my heartbreaks, failures, rejections, and wrong decisions without Vin. He was a family to me. We made a lot of promises, traveled to places together, went to my comfort places whenever Mike and I had fights. Of all the promises we made to each other, there’s one that I’ll never forget. I think it’s the only one that I can fulfill after we went separate ways.

After the movie, I booked a grab ride to go home. For some reason, it felt heavy when I was on my way home. It’s the first time that I felt relieved with traffic. My 30-minute travel time will most likely be two hours. And I had no problem with that. I wanted to gome but I was feeling something that made me want to prolong my way home. I got what I wanted. I got home at 11PM after a two-hour ride. I dropped my shopping bags, took a quick shower, checked my phone for social media updates, and then opened my spotify and listened to “Sa Susunod na Habang Buhay”.

After a few minutes, I got a call from the reception desk. Someone sent me a mail. I went down as I was curious who sent a mail at this odd hour. I went back to my unit first before opening the mail.

It was an invitation letter. A wedding invitation. It was cute. I saw a rainbow in the design of the envelope containing the actual letter.

I wanted to prepare for the special day. It was two months away from the day they sent me the letter. I was told to wear a dress of my choice. Any color would do, as long as it would mean happiness for me. I chose to wear the pink dress that I haven’t used six years ago. For some reason, all those new dresses I bought looked less pretty for the event.

October 30.

The special day came. I was ready to join the celebration of a wonderful union. I saw Mike. He looked handsome as he was before. But this time, his eyes sparkled with hope, excitement and bliss. He wore a dark blue suit that fits his body perfectly. I smiled at him while he was walking in the aisle. He smiled back. That moment, I knew I was letting him go.

And then I saw Vin. He wore a white suit that we talked about back when we were in college. I never erased our conversation history in my phone. I read it again the night before. He said: “I will wear a white suit while my husband will be wearing a dark blue suit.”

He got what he wanted. And when our eyes met after six long years, I knew I fulfilled one promise to my best friend. After he said that he wanted his husband to wear a dark blue suit, Vin said that I should wear the pink dress that she chose for me when I was finding a dress for my second anniversary date with Mike. And I need to sit in the second row, right behind his family.

I was there seated in the second row. Wearing the pink dress that he chose that I haven’t worn in six years. For all the efforts I made, I successfully didn’t cry. I was there smiling the whole time – thinking that I was able to let go of Mike, my great love, and making my promise with Vin come true on his special day.

I went home after the wedding. Not sure of what I am truly feeling, I picked up my phone and browsed through the songs that I saved in my special playlist. I listened to four of them. And if you’re here reading the last part of this blog post, you may take time to listen to the songs that I dedicated to three people.

To Vin

To Mike

For myself

4 Comments

  1. Loved this blog. My heart broke along with yours. I hope you wear your pink dress again for a happy reason xx

    Like

    1. WanderNine says:

      Hello! Thank you! That’s actually a story in my head. It didn’t happen to me but I just thought of it as an idea and came up with a blog post. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. your “head story” drew me in. Loved it. Hope you write more of them

        Like

      2. WanderNine says:

        I’ll try to. Thanks for reading my posts!

        Like

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